Women in Leadership - A Common Challenge
First, I would like to share a little bit about myself.
I grew up in a culture where boys are valued more than girls because they carry the family bloodline.
As a child, i believed that i was equally as capable as boys, so I was always the top #1 and a leader in my class.
I went to a high ranking university and studied aerospace engineering. There were only 18 girls among my class of 156 students in the department. With the same belief that i am as capable as boys, i graduated as top #1 and earned my free entrance to graduate school.
When i immigrated to US, everything changed
I lost confidence completely.
I didn’t understand other people and they couldn’t understand me
I avoided talking so that i didn’t get myself embarrassed
I tried to live in the vacuum of my own family and community
I remember how much I was sweating and how shivering my voice was in the early days when I had to deliver a presentation.
Gradually, with training and practice, I regained my confidence and have assumed many different leadership roles in technology. Currently, I am a VP and the head of learning and talent technology in a Fortran 100 company.
I often show up during recruiting events because I want to be a role model for other women, other women of color, other women immigrants and other women technologists.
In my 20+ years of career in technology, I experienced first hand the unique challenges and obstacles of being a woman in male dominated fields.
I was in a training program several years ago, the trainer showed us the statistics that show women in general are less confident. Women don’t take on a project or apply for a job until they are almost 100% sure, while men would do it if they are 60-70% sure. I didn’t believe it! I didn't believe it because I always thought my lack of confidence was just me who came to the US as an adult and was trying to regain my confidence. In fact, I went to my male co-workers and confirmed it.
That leads to the common challenge I want to talk about today.
Inner voice of I am not enough or imposter syndrome.
This can be demonstrated in many different ways. I am not good enough, I am not beautiful enough, I am not fit enough, I am not skilled enough and so on. As a result, women may be less confident and more fearful. Why women are less confident is very complicated. For example -
How society looks at women - even in high school, girls are considered less competent leaders because they are considered more dramatic.
There are less role models at corporate, government and politics. We are definitely seeing promising progress on this.
How we are brought up - for example, for me, the culture valued boys more than girls,
My point is not so much about how we get here even though it’s very important to understand. I want to focus on what we can do about it personally.
How much does this show up in your life?
How often do you feel that you are not enough?
What are you doing to overcome this feeling?
I worked on this in multiple ways -
I faced it head on. For example, when I felt that i am not good enough, my english is not good enough, I joined Toastmasters and completed my competent communicator.
I worked with my coaches to reduce my fear of not enough
I constantly remind myself that I am good enough. I am here for a reason. I am unique and no one can replace me.
I hope you too feel that you are the most beautiful creature in the world and you are perfect the way you are. This doesn’t stop us from continuing to improve ourselves. We are a masterpiece in progress.
