Reflection
My reading list of 2024
Reading is personal, I enjoy having dialogs with people who are wise. My past sharing of books has encouraged others to read some of my picks. Here is my list for 2024, without any particular order.
Unreasonable Hospitality: The Remarkable Power of Giving People More Than They Expect by Will Guidara
Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Talent, and Live More Fully by Elaine Lin Hering
The Power of Voice: A Guide to Making Yourself Heard by my beloved coach Denise Woods (reread)
The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch and Jeffrey Zaslow (reread)
Becoming Coachable: Unleashing the Power of Executive Coaching to Transform Your Leadership and Life by Scott Osman, Jacquelyn Lane, Marshall Goldsmith
Permission to Speak: How to Change What Power Sounds Like, Starting with You by Samara Bay (reread)
ImmiGRIT: How Immigrant Leadership Drives Business Success by my friend Ukeme Awakessien Jeter
Good Guys: How Men Can Be Better Allies for Women in the Workplace by David Smith and Brad Johnson
The Accidental Sexist: A handbook for men on workplace diversity and inclusion by Gary Ford, Stephen Koch and Dr Jill Armstrong
The 100X Leader: How to Become Someone Worth Following by Jeremie Kubicek - Speaker/Best Selling Author and Steve Cockram
The Strangest Secret by Earl Nightingale, recommended by my best friend Joy Zhao, M.D., Ph.D, PCC
Shoe Dog: A Memoir by the Creator of Nike by Phil Knight, a gift from a dear friend.
Book more business: Make MORE. Money speaking by my mentor Lois Creamer
Useful Not True by Derek Sivers, a gift from my husband
Write your story - a simple framework to understand yourself, your story, and your purpose in the world by Allison Fallon
Likeable Badass: How Women Get the Success They Deserve by Alison Fragale
15 Lies Women Are Told at Work: …And the Truth We Need to Succeed by Bonnie Hammer
Unmasking AI: My Mission to Protect What Is Human in a World of Machines by Dr. Joy Buolamwini, a gift from Women in Analytics (WIA) during DataConnect Conference
Turn your leaning tower to triumph
The Leaning Tower of Pisa, a freestanding bell tower in Pisa, Italy, is world-renowned for its unintended lean, caused by an unstable foundation. The initial construction that's started in 1173 was paused, and then resumed with modified design. The construction was eventually finished after ~200 years. Then it was closed to the public in 1990 due to safety concerns. After extensive re-engineering for nearly 10 years, it's reopened to the public.
Each year, the tower receives ~5 million visitors approximately.
The reason that the tower attracts so many visitors is not because the tower is perfectly straight. It's the opposite! It's the imperfection.
Just like the tower, our journeys are often filled with unexpected twists and turns. What if our "imperfections" are actually our greatest strengths? Let's embrace our unique perspectives and lean into our "tilt."
Design your life
5 years ago...
I was a single mother, raising two children on my own, a college student and a high school student.
I was paying a mortgage, a car loan and college tuition.
I was leading a global technology team in one of the largest financial companies. We were working day and night on one of the most challenging programs - moving the entire HR systems to the Cloud.
One day, a potential life changing opportunity arrived at my door. It was a leadership and life development program through a coaching school.
I lost sleep....how am I going to pay $10,000+ for the coaching school tuition and have the 500+ hours needed to study?
I found the way, and the rest is history.
Today...
My college student graduated with multiple honors and is free of debt. The younger one is in their dream college.
I got married to my current husband, my soulmate and my love.
I retired from my high-profile and high-paying technology executive job.
I started my entrepreneurship path to develop more great leaders.
Most important, I am living a fulfilled life beyond my imagination, largely because I designed my own life during my coaching school 5 years ago.
Now, I want you to experience what I have experienced - a full day coaching intensive to support you on the next level leadership journey. Are you ready to take control of your life and live it to the fullest?
How do you amplify your impact?
You finished your program, you then moved on to the next.
How often do you pause and think:
How can I amplify my impact?
Who else can benefit the work that's completed?
Who can help amplify the adoption?
These questions would allow your work to be scaled and reused.
So, here is an example.
Last week, I gave a presentation on "Supercharge Your Presentation Impact with AI". It was greatly received. Afterwards, several people asked for a digital copy. A hard copy was distributed during the event. A digital copy was provided in the event follow up communication.
However, I thought about how this can be made beneficial to people who didn't attend my presentation. In the meantime, it can also give me flexibility to update the list as AI tools are ever-evolving.
So here it is. I made it available to anyone who is interested.
What's your secret to amplifying your impact? Share your strategies in the comments!
P.S. invite me to your company/team for an interactive working session on the adoption of AI Tools.
What would you say?
At a recent event when I was sharing my career journey with a group of vibrant engineering students, a bright young mind asked me a powerful question: "With one sentence, what advice would you give your 18-year-old self?"
Tough question! Not because the answer wasn't clear, but because I was limited to ONE sentence. Talk about a challenge! In reality, I could write a whole book on this.
But here's the one sentence I landed on (I had to think on my feet): “Don’t care too much about what other people think of you, live your own life and chase your own dreams. “
I cared too much about what my parents thought of me. I wanted their approval and I didn’t want to fail them.
I cared too much what my peers thought of me. I wanted them to like me.
I cared too much about what my professors thought about me. I wanted them to appraise me intelligent.
I cared too much about what strangers thought of me - yes even strangers! I wanted them to respect me.
For a long time, I had been living THEIR lives, not mine.
Here are the questions for YOU:
Whose life are YOU living?
Whose dreams are YOU chasing?
What would YOU tell your 18-year-old self?
I am sorry that I said sorry
We've all heard it: "Sorry I'm late," "Sorry I didn't get that done," "Sorry I don't have time." It's become a common refrain, but is it always necessary?
Like many learners of English, I understand 'sorry' means causing hurt. We wouldn't hesitate to say "sorry" if we bumped someone in the store.
I want to encourage women leaders to examine when and how often they say sorry.
Is it because it's an autopilot habit? Is there any other way to express similar feeling?
Let's use this simple example: you're running five minutes late for a coffee catch-up. Traffic or a kiddo meltdown? Happens to all of us! You arrive and blurt, "So sorry!" They understand, you chat, all good.
But what if you said, "Thank you so much for waiting!"
Here's the shift: "Sorry" feels like regret, frustration, needing forgiveness. It sets an expectation that being late requires an apology.
"Thank you" radiates gratitude and appreciation. You weren't apologizing, you were showing appreciation for their patience!
Small changes, big impact! Would you like to ditch the "sorry" reflex and shine with "Thank You" instead? Try it out!
Open Your Window
Ever since I was a little child, I noticed that my mother had a habit of opening windows every morning, even during winter. Even though it was shockingly chilling at first, it felt good to let the fresh air in.
That's exactly how it feels when we open up our minds to new perspectives. Our minds are designed to follow the same pattern, to reserve energies for more important tasks. So encountering a new approach can feel a bit chilly at first. But just like that first breath of winter air, a little discomfort can lead to a powerful awakening.
Both my best friend and my husband are great planners. They live by their physical planners. "Introverts," I thought, dismissing their method as outdated. After all, I had my "superior" digital system – everything synced across devices, accessible anywhere, never at risk of loss (thanks, cloud!). ☁️
But last year, curiosity got the better of me. What's the worst that could happen? Especially when my friend Joy Zhao, Ph.D, PCC offered me a free full focus planner. "Try it first before you buy”.
Let's just say it didn't take long for those five additional quarterly planners to arrive on my doorstep. Now, that planner goes everywhere with me.
Here's what learned:
Open the Window: You never know what you'll like until you try it. Stepping outside your comfort zone can lead to unexpected benefits.
Timing is Everything: Just like nature, growth has its seasons. Joy had been suggesting planners to me for years, but last year was my time to embrace the idea.
It's Never Too Late: Don't dwell on missed opportunities - I could have easily blamed myself "why didn't I try this earlier?", but I understand, "The best time to plant a tree was 10 years ago. The second-best time is now."
Open your window, let the fresh air in.
My leaders are busy
I don’t want to add burden to them.
Having skip-level meetings is uncomfortable. I completely understand the hesitation around scheduling those meetings with higher-ups. Been there, done that! My stomach would turn even before I requested a meeting. One of the reasons that caused me discomfort in the beginning was that the higher-ups were all men. The men figures in my personal life were the decision makers, the ones with a stronger voice, and the ones with the upper hand (both physically and metaphorically).
Not surprisingly, many women in tech that I coach share similar worries:
Leader overload: I don't want to add burden to their busy schedules!
Imposter syndrome: I don't have anything important to share.
Managerial mind games: What if my direct manager gets weird about it?
The stranger danger effect: I simply don't know these leaders that well. How do I initiate such a meeting?
But, these skip-level meetings are valuable and critical.
You're not a burden: Leaders are there to support growth, and these meetings offer insights they might not get otherwise. As a leader, it’s important for them to always know of the pulse of the front line and the experience of the people who are in the field. And, if they are executives, they know how to prioritize their time. You don’t have to make a decision for them.
Your voice matters: You DO have valuable perspectives and ideas to share. Don't underestimate your impact! Think about what you might know that you skip-level leader doesn't know but it's important for them to know.
Advocacy all around: Not every manager champions their team to the next level, don't assume your skip-level knows about your talent and your great work. These meetings help build relationships that can benefit you in the long run.
For the teams I lead, I actively schedule skip-level meetings with my team members. I also encourage my direct team member to have skip level meetings with my manager. As a leader, I consider that it’s my responsibility to listen to the team members and develop them as leaders.
You're simply requesting a chat and having a meaningful conversation, getting to know each other included. So, what are you waiting for? Don’t skip that skip level meeting.
How do you make someone feel they belong?
I feel seen, heard and a part of the community. Thank you John Glenn Columbus International Airport
It doesn’t cost millions, it requires intention.
#leader How are you making your team feel they belong?
#leadership #womenleadership #belonging
What happened to your plant?
Did it die? My plant was dying.
My daughter gave me this plant as a gift. I have had it for several years and it had been doing awesome.
But recently, something changed, even though the plant was watered regularly as usual, and I gave it a lot of love and attention. Sadly, it was not doing well. The leaves turned brown and fell one by one. I was very sad I might not be able to save it.
Until one day, someone told me through during video conference “I think it needs some sun!” Really?! This wasn’t the type of plant that I expected to be needing sun. I assumed that it can live anywhere, even in the dark. It had done well for the past several years, why needing sun now? But I am willing to give it a try out of desperation.
Then miracle happened. New leaves grew out, leaves grew bigger, the plant is getting taller and healthier, within a short few days.
Here's my real point, leaders and team members alike: what worked in the past doesn't always translate. Your star performer might be feeling stuck, like a wilting plant. Maybe they need a new challenge, a different environment, or just a metaphorical dose of sunshine. ☀️
And team members, don't be afraid to advocate for your own growth! If you're feeling stagnant, figure out what's missing. Don't just settle for surviving, you deserve to flourish! ✨
Sometimes all it takes is a little change to bring something back to life. Whether it's a plant or a career, don't be afraid to adjust the light!
#leadership #growthmindset #careerdevelopment