Are you actively listening?

How often do you say "me too!" when someone shares something with you? On the surface, it feels that we are making connections because we share similar experiences. In reality, it diminishes the power of the other person and the focus of the conversation is moved away from that person to you.

Let's play this:

Amy: "I am so tired today as i didn't have a good night sleep last night."
Bob: "Me too! I didn't sleep well either! My toddler woke me up in the middle of the night..."
Sounds familiar? Because that's the common listening style of many.

If you are actively listening, you might hear
1. Amy is tired now, a rest/break might be beneficial
2. Amy didn't sleep well last night. There might be something bothering her; Or maybe the AC is down; or her neighbor played loud music at a late night party.
3. What can I do to support Amy?
...
How can you find out any of these might be true or not? Ask Amy! Try this, you will be amazed at how other people might appreciate you that you care. This isn't about you!....at least not yet.

#activelistening #buildconnections #communication